Thursday, November 5, 2009

Vulnerability -

In my book Someone Like Me, An Unlikely Story of Challenge and Triumph over Cerebral Palsy which is scheduled to be released in April 2010, I tell of lying about my handicap and wanting so badly to appear "normal." Some of my friends with CP have called me on that. What's wrong with being who I am? Obviously I now have the self-confidence it takes to be different and proud, but that wasn't always the case. I hated not being able to ice skate, run gracefully or attract women.

Diversity classes abound nowadays, but "different" still often translates to "less than." I've been ridiculed for the way I walk, the way I look at people, and for just standing there trembling. It takes great maturity to get past that, and accept who I am. I tried drinking as a means of fitting in and dulling my life. That didn't work. I tried hiding my symptoms. That helped to some extent, but left me feeling like a hypocrite.

Ultimately my self-esteem was built on perserverence and personal motivation, both which led me to success on the job and at life in general. Success feels good, writing the book felt good.

Now that I'm soon to open my life and heart up to inspection by my readers, I have to confess that some of that old vulnerability has crept back in. Will I be scorned, ridiculed or laughed at?

I'll let you be the judge.

Keep charging - John

www.johnwquinn.com

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